“Those Turkeys Didn’t Do What They Were Supposed to Do!”

O what a mess we can create when we simply expect things ... .

Expectations are anticipations of some probable occurrence or appearance to which you look forward. In other words, when you expect something, you are making a mental wager with yourself about the outcome of some future event.

This event can be any thing, however, it is frequently your own behavior or that of someone else. How you bet on this event often reflects your beliefs, attitudes, standards, and goals.

As a confident self-promoter, you need to know that your expectations, as well as those of your prospects and clients, can result in self-fulfilling prophecies. Specifically, when you believe something very strongly and have high expectations that it will happen, you will tend to make it happen. That is, you will act, consciously or unconsciously, in accordance with that expectation.

This can be positive for you when your expectations are high and realistic. They can propel you to overcome obstacles in order to accomplish your goals. For example, you have surveyed your target audience to determine what their burning issues are in selling real estate and are sure you can provide an appropriate set of solution tips to their problem.

But it also can be negative for you when your expectations are high and unrealistic. They can put insurmountable obstacles in your path. For example, you have surveyed keyword searches in real estate and assume your target audience will be interested in refinancing their homes, when they really want to know how to negotiate the best deal in a slow market.

How can you tell the difference between “high realistic” and “high unrealistic” expectations?

High unrealistic expectations have that chiseled-in-granite quality to them. That is, if it’s a “probable” occurrence, it “should” happen. “Clients should know that I value them as individuals” or “I shouldn’t have to keep reminding prospects of the benefits I provide; they should just remember them.”

When these anticipations don’t pan out, you tend to feel a sense of deep-seated anger. You will tend to see others as disappointing you ‑ that they aren’t doing what you want. You may also rage against yourself for not perfectly matching your expectations for yourself … and, perhaps, for being a failure as a result.

As a confident, effective, and professional self-promoter, you have to

*Determine how realistic any expectation is. Ask yourself how likely it is the event will happen as you want. Use your past experiences as your database for comparing and assessing the validity of your expectations.

*Ask others what they think. Being honest with yourself is not always easy, especially if you’re invested in the idea. Share your expectations with others to get feedback on whether you’re in the right ballpark, out in left field, or need more data.

*Assign a percentage to the expected outcome. How truly likely is it that things will turn out as you expect? Quantifying it helps move you from wishful thinking to probabilities. Keep re-assessing this percentage as things move along in the process. This will make your expectations more elastic and situation-specific. Static, carved-in-stone expectations tend to be doomed to not being met.

*Let people (colleagues, subordinates, prospects, and clients) know what you expect of them. If you want them to act in a particular way, you have to clearly communicate what you want them to do, why they should do it (what’s in it for them), lead them to act, then show them how.

Expectations can make all the difference between your successes and failures. Make them work for you, not against you!